[00:00.00]
[00:08.38]I woke up, threw some sweat pants on
[00:10.78]Then I fed my cat and I walked to the mini mart
[00:13.42]And I really want a donut, shouldn't get a donut
[00:16.18]Bought a donut, ****** it man it's really hard
[00:17.83]Supposed to be on a diet, I wanna be like Ryan
[00:21.51]He lost thirty pounds on that paleo
[00:24.45]But ****** it man I love fried ************t
[00:26.35]I was gonna get skinny for the summer
[00:28.23]I was gonna start doing my crunches
[00:31.21]But looking down at my stomach
[00:32.63]I'mma go to the beach, but I'm not taking my ************rt off in public
[00:35.51]My girl shaped like a bottle of Coke
[00:37.55]Me? I'm shaped like a bottle of nope
[00:39.72]I'd like to order a hot dog, some bon bons
[00:42.47]A large soda, and some tacos to go
[00:44.38]I never knew what a carbohydrate was
[00:48.63]Turns out that it's all the snacks I love
[00:52.38]I wanna be like Hugh Jackman, you know jacked man
[00:56.38]With a really huge package
[00:58.15]I wanna be the 2015 Batman
[01:00.32]And send Ben Affleck packing
[01:02.52]If you ain't gonna treat Jennifer Garner right
[01:05.05]You don't deserve to have that
[01:06.90]You better pass that to the homie Matt Damon
[01:09.04]He eat the booty like Pac Man
[01:12.54]You know I feel good about this place
[01:14.64]You know I feel good about this steak
[01:16.94]You know I feel good about this shake
[01:19.02]You know I feel good about these plates
[01:21.42]You know I feel good about these crepes
[01:23.50]You know I feel good about this cake
[01:25.86]You know I just love how it tastes
[01:28.03]I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no
[01:31.12]Happy New Years
[01:33.38]Everybody got a resolution
[01:35.14]But the next day, we forget about it never do 'em
[01:39.92]I went to the gym and got a member************p
[01:43.95]Five minutes on the treadmill and I never lift
[01:48.27]That was four years ago I should probably cancel this
[01:52.82]But they tell me I gotta do it in person, ain't that a ************?
[01:57.21]But tomorrow though, I'mma get fit
[01:59.50]Get me a fuel band and a fit-bit
[02:01.91]Get me some workout shoes, and a bench press
[02:04.01]Some mulu lemons and a french press
[02:06.29]I'mma finally focus do some private yoga
[02:08.40]Exercise my shoulders, I'mma hide the donuts
[02:10.73]Realign my posture, no time for sofas
[02:13.24]I'm finally sober no lime Coronas
[02:15.89]But again, that's tomorrow
[02:17.80]And today man I gotta go big cause it's my last day
[02:20.90]Before I lose that weight, I gotta get one last plate and go big
[02:24.25]I ate all night, Kool-Aid on ice
[02:26.64]I woke up and I felt like ************t
[02:28.33]And I said, "you know what, man ****** it
[02:30.65]I should probably start on Monday instead"
[02:33.14]Mother****** let's eat
[02:33.68]You know I feel good about this place
[02:35.04]You know I feel good about this steak
[02:37.44]You know I feel good about this shake
[02:39.53]You know I feel good about these plates
[02:41.78]You know I feel good about these crepes
[02:44.12]You know I feel good about this cake
[02:46.15]You know I just love how it tastes
[02:48.47]I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no