[00:01.81]Who does she think she is?
[00:04.89]That girl has tangled with the wrong man.
[00:06.71]No one says no to Gaston.
[00:08.73]Darn right.
[00:10.30]Dismissed, rejected...
[00:12.60]publicly humiliated.
[00:14.28]Why, it's more than I can bear.
[00:16.33]More beer?
[00:17.40]What for?
[00:18.57]Nothing helps.
[00:20.22]I'm disgraced.
[00:21.34]Who, you?
[00:22.38]Never!
[00:23.78]Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together.
[00:27.31]Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
[00:30.21]Looking so down in the dumps
[00:33.60]Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
[00:36.85]Even when taking your lumps
[00:39.97]There's no man in town as admired as you
[00:43.21]You're everyone's favorite guy
[00:46.48]Everyone's awed and inspired by you
[00:50.24]And it's not very hard to see why
[00:58.28]No... one's... Slick as Gaston
[01:03.65]No one's quick as Gaston
[01:05.20]No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston
[01:08.60]For there's no man in town half as manly
[01:11.48]Perfect, a pure paragon
[01:15.23]You can ask any Tom, **** or Stanley
[01:17.91]And they'll tell you whose team
[01:20.57]They prefer to be on,
[01:23.95]No... one's... been like Gaston
[01:28.24]A kingpin like Gaston
[01:29.65]No one's got a swell cleft
[01:31.55]In his chin like Gaston
[01:33.40]As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating
[01:37.60]My, what a guy, that Gaston
[01:40.61]Give five "hurrahs!" Give 12 "hip-hips!"
[01:43.46]Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips
[01:48.79]No... one... Fights like Gaston
[01:52.90]Douses lights like Gaston
[01:54.74]In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston
[01:58.13]For there's no one as burly and brawny
[02:01.31]As you see, I've got biceps to spare
[02:04.71]Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny That's right
[02:08.48]And every last inch of me's covered with hair
[02:12.70]No one hits like Gaston
[02:13.21]Matches wits like Gaston
[02:14.82]In a spitting match,
[02:16.47]nobody spits like Gaston
[02:18.28]I'm especially good at expectorating
[02:22.40]Ptooey! Ten points for Gaston!
[02:25.90]When I was a lad
[02:26.78]I ate four dozen eggs
[02:28.43]Every morning to help me get large
[02:31.63]And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
[02:35.70]So I'm roughly the size of a barge
[02:41.23]No... one... Shoots like Gaston
[02:46.30]Makes those beauts like Gaston
[02:47.68]Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
[02:51.40]I use antlers in all of my decorating
[02:55.50]Say it again
[02:56.55]Who's a man among men?
[02:58.90]And then say it once more
[02:59.64]Who's the hero next door?
[03:01.37]Who's a super success?
[03:02.98]Don't you know? Can't you guess?
[03:04.41]Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
[03:07.70]There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down
[03:15.90]And his name's G-A-S- T -
[03:22.61]G-A-S-T - E -
[03:24.96]G-A-S-T-O - oh!
[03:27.90]Gaston!