[00:00.837] (Dolomite)
[00:00.960] Come on over, honey
[00:02.156] And give your uncle Dolomite a kiss
[00:04.477] (kissing sounds)
[00:05.259] Well, what you want, baby?
[00:06.897]
[00:07.094] (Baby)
[00:07.257] Would you tell me a story?
[00:09.451]
[00:09.625] (Dolemite)
[00:09.767] You want me to tell you a story?
[00:11.827]
[00:12.045] (Baby)
[00:12.187] Hell yeah!
[00:12.771]
[00:12.953] (Other Baby)
[00:13.096] Me too!
[00:14.095]
[00:14.276] (Dolemite)
[00:14.555] Yes honey, I'mma tell you a story
[00:17.480] About the bad-ass Eazy-E
[00:19.872] He was drinking whisky and gin at the age of three
[00:23.615] Listen and listen well
[00:25.542] He's a bad muthafu-
[00:27.329]
[00:27.526] (Mother)
[00:27.527] Gimmie that god damn book!
[00:29.790] Here, let me read you this one
[00:31.478] Christmas in Compton
[00:33.468] It was a silent night, yes, a holy night
[00:37.338] Until Mr. Claus turned into Santa muthaphxckkin' Wright
[00:41.026]
[00:43.881] (Carolers)
[00:44.176] Deck the halls with ***** of holly
[00:46.470] Fa la la la la la la la la
[00:49.287] Tis the season to be jolly....
[00:49.573]
[00:49.574] (Eazy-E)
[00:49.575] Merry Christmas, muthaphxckka!
[00:50.805] (Gun Shots)
[00:52.458]
[00:52.666] (Verse 1: Eazy-E)
[00:53.211] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas and a ho ho ho!
[00:55.757] While I'm riding that cot under the mistletoe
[00:58.235] Now dashing through the snow
[01:00.843] In a candy red top 6-4 (hittin' them switches)
[01:03.795] Over the hills I go
[01:06.251] Laughing at this ho
[01:08.815] **** on her chin ring
[01:11.396] Making me feel right
[01:13.899] Oh what fun it is to know
[01:16.066] That I'm gonna get this puxxy tonight
[01:18.323] So ring them bells, ring them bells
[01:21.179] She's taking it all the way
[01:24.059] Oh what fun it is to watch her suck my dxxk this way, hey
[01:29.210] Ring them bells, ring them bells
[01:31.333] She's taking it all the way
[01:34.356] Oh what fun it is to nut while she's sucking my dxxk
[01:38.085] Oh yay!
[01:39.443] This is the season to get bitten
[01:42.024] Compton crime lick and I'm smoking on this shxt
[01:44.048]
[01:44.257] (Santa)
[01:44.435] Ho ho ho, come sit on my face - I mean lap
[01:47.137] And tell me what you want for Christmas, ho ho
[01:48.719]
[01:48.963] (Verse 2: Menajahtwa)
[01:49.187] I want a sleigh ride
[01:50.186] A Christmas Eve stick of rum
[01:51.761] She said I slide down the chimney and I'm gonna cxm
[01:54.396] A VCR on the set with nothing but pxrno flicks
[01:56.889] Get some Rudolph the red nose reindeer
[01:59.447] Getcha that gum like a everlastin' gobstoper
[02:01.945] Give me a **** for his cxck will be the party poppa
[02:04.418] I dig a ho, crack a dough by the **** oh
[02:07.135] I want to be having a good time fxckin' in tha snow
[02:09.522] I made him drop to his knees
[02:10.711] Yeah you know what's up
[02:12.088] I said here's some candy canes eat'em up
[02:14.561] I send him down, they jumping down, swinging by my toes
[02:17.189] Send me some cheese, I want the candy cream and the loot
[02:19.809] I want Santa to send me a little jack horny guy
[02:22.263] I want him to shake me??
[02:24.890] So all on the hunt, bon appetite
[02:27.383] And a condom in a tree
[02:29.662]
[02:29.909] (Eazy-E)
[02:30.425] All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
[02:32.793] My two front teeth, my two front teeth
[02:35.498] All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
[02:37.751] Yo wheres ya rhyme tell me Buckwheat
[02:39.557]
[02:39.828] (Buckwheat)
[02:40.433] Buckwheat is a wascal
[02:41.802] That's no Christmas
[02:42.871] And all the toys, boys and girls
[02:44.368] fxck ya wishes
[02:45.504] I not happy, overjoyed in this muthaphxckka
[02:48.030] No indo under my tree so Santa be a sucka
[02:50.603] No shxt on the roof, cough up Rudolph's ****
[02:52.952] When I was young I was the only kid
[02:54.434] Who had enough guts to be
[02:55.758] Good ole hearing on the East
[02:57.638] I'd stay awake just to let America know
[02:59.198] That Santa was a fake
[03:00.796] I used to believe in Saint dxxk when Elvis was alive
[03:03.463] But all the fxcking bullshxt got played when I was five
[03:05.905] Years old, just stay young, bold writing
[03:08.463] Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting
[03:10.909] Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath
[03:13.203] I got my two front teeth
[03:14.481] Uncle Eazy be the jeezy and just spread me a leaf
[03:17.164] Little kids, don't cry
[03:18.351] When you find out the Santa Claus is just a fxcking lie
[03:20.321]
[03:20.653] (Eazy-E)
[03:20.810] On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me
[03:26.452] Three pounds of indo
[03:28.225] Two birds of cxcxxnx
[03:30.059] And a A muthaphxckkin' K, bxtch
[03:34.405]
[03:34.602] (Hook)
[03:35.287] Eazy-E oh Eazy-E
[03:39.050] Show us how you treat those bxtches
[03:42.548]
[03:42.737] (Hook)
[03:42.891] I saw mommy fxcking Eazy Claus
[03:45.502]
[03:45.683] (Eazy-E)
[03:45.825] Close the door, little bxtch
[03:47.007] I'm getting these draws
[03:47.987]
[03:48.156] (Hook)
[03:48.299] I'm a tell my daddy if ya ass don't stop
[03:50.172]
[03:50.327] (Eazy-E)
[03:50.478] I don't give a fxck
[03:51.469] I'm getting Christmas cot
[03:53.187] Ho ho ho and away I go
[03:55.230]
[03:55.394] (Hook)
[03:55.529] Oh Saint Nick's got a **** like a pole
[03:57.731]
[03:57.920] (Woman 1)
[03:58.099] Well where's our shxt?
[03:59.143]
[03:59.306] (Woman 2)
[03:59.441] This muthaphxckker's cheap
[04:00.426]
[04:00.595] (Eazy-E)
[04:00.773] Shut the fxck up, bxtches
[04:02.131] And go back to sleep
[04:03.032]
[04:03.150] (Verse 3: Will 1X)
[04:03.291] Yo black, what you want for Christmas?
[04:04.406] (Yo black, I want a job)
[04:05.730] For my Christmas, all the fxcked up people
[04:07.250] Want some corn-on-the-cob
[04:08.337] A Jew will eat some matzoh ball soup, but a nxgga'll eat some
[04:10.876] Chitlins, watermelon, corn bread and some Froot Loops
[04:13.423] Now who's caroling in my window
[04:15.466] Smokin' up indo
[04:16.789] Mechalecha hi, make a high note
[04:18.427]
[04:18.597] (apl.de.ap)
[04:18.923] Get out my fxcking yard with your camel
[04:21.081] You wanna get busy and Santa like a..
[04:23.213] A bam balam bam like I am a rhymer, I'm talking
[04:25.571] The Atban Klann will make shxt slam, it's Christmas time
[04:28.775] The Simple Simon Christmas make me jam jam jam
[04:33.488]
[04:33.651] (Will1X)
[04:33.802] Yo black, what you want for Christmas?
[04:35.029] Yo black, I want some cash
[04:36.336] So I can buy some indo, chronic and some hash
[04:38.574]
[04:38.739] (Atban Klann (Will1X & apl.de.ap))
[04:38.880] Yo, here comes the Atban Klann rough and rugged
[04:41.392] A rump pa bum bum
[04:42.714] A rump pa bum bum
[04:43.594]
[04:43.921] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[04:46.735] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[04:49.347] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[04:51.360] And have a fxcked up new year
[04:54.368] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[04:56.903] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[04:59.479] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:01.561] And have a fxcked up new year
[05:04.616] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:07.089] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:09.690] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:11.687] And have a fxcked up new year
[05:14.782] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:17.314] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:19.929] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:21.920] And have a fxcked up new year
[05:24.952] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:27.588] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:30.135] Merry muthaphxckkin' Christmas
[05:32.114] And have a fxcked up new year
[05:35.137]
[05:35.318] (Eazy-E)
[05:35.497] You Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!!
[05:41.502]
[05:41.816] (Mother)
[05:42.744] And they all went to prison
[05:44.210] And lived fxcked up lives ever after
[05:47.197] The End