[00:00.000] 作曲 : Ben Haggerty
[00:00.00]Ladies and gentlemen
[00:02.89]Introducing, the ***** song.
[00:08.04](oh no he didn't)
[00:09.20](Honk a ****)
[00:09.63]This is my ***** song
[00:13.43]I wish that I had a bigger shlong
[00:18.24]One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
[00:23.28]One of those porno king kong dongs
[00:26.75]Check it out
[00:29.12]I wish my **** was bigger, I can admit it
[00:31.70]I'm above average on inches but I want a damn double digit
[00:34.29]If I had a big ol' c**k what would I do?
[00:36.34]I'd probably go to Florida and show it Katrina and screw
[00:38.87]Get buck naked and start streaking at my school
[00:41.17]And get arrested but at least the girls would be impressed
[00:43.57]With my third leg and, and then I'd go to a keg and
[00:46.02]Do a keg stand, get drunk and do the running man
[00:48.51]With no clothes on just to show off
[00:50.91]My ****'s bigger than yours when mine is cold and soft
[00:53.24]Haha, oh yeah I forgot that's not really the c**k that I have
[00:57.76]I went out and party-bagged 'em and quickly opened the package
[01:00.27]And it fit me like Kriss Kross's old school starter jackets
[01:02.71]Trying to convince myself like, "Size doesn't matter,"
[01:05.20]Anyways I'd probably just put it on backwards cause I mean
[01:07.84]I know that god made us all different and special
[01:09.65]But s*it did he really have to invent lopsided t******es?
[01:12.33]I don't have them I just feel bad for the like you know the guys with like
[01:16.97]Their left one hangs like lower than the right, kinda like a lazy eye like on your b***s
[01:23.27]I mean I don't know, I just hurt,I feel bad
[01:26.08]This is my ***** song
[01:28.51]I wish that I had a bigger shlong
[01:33.81]One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
[01:38.55]Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along
[01:44.99]Yo ladies
[01:46.64]Yeah?
[01:47.10]Ladies!
[01:47.98]Yeah?
[01:48.32]Do you want a guy with an average ****?
[01:49.96]Hell no
[01:50.58]Then- wait you don't?
[01:52.37]No you honkey ****
[01:53.58]Okay that's cool, no that's fine
[01:55.41]I promise, I'm so self conscious
[01:57.64]That's why you never see me skinny dippin' in August
[02:00.06]Always walkin' around with my hands in my pockets trying to pump blood into my guy Alfonso
[02:04.85]I mean, goddamn I don't think you girls understand
[02:07.15]I've had a complex since that song Short Short Man
[02:09.53]And even though girls have told me that I'm big when I watch a porno I feel like a little kid
[02:14.38]I mean, let's take Ron Jeremy
[02:16.63]Now if a girl sees him she'll compare him to me
[02:19.12]And every MC in hip hop has got a huge c**k
[02:21.47]Or at least talks about it in every song that they've got
[02:23.88]I mean, s*it
[02:25.03]If I was really hung I'd make a whole album called Me and My ****
[02:28.55]With interludes of all the girls that I'd been with
[02:30.98]And talk about my package and multiple orgasms
[02:33.43]'Cause all that I see is that size does matter
[02:35.74]We got Enzite, ***** pumps surgery to Viagra
[02:38.35]But when it all adds up you can't really change it
[02:40.67]I'm not a porno star I just gotta face it
[02:43.10]You know, what can I do
[02:44.83]This song goes out to like all the like little bit above average dudes
[02:48.63]So like all the small dudes, medium dudes but all you big dudes stop
[02:51.64]This is my ***** song
[02:54.06]I wish that I had a bigger shlong
[02:59.06]One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
[03:04.61]Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along